Festivals In India

When we were in school, we used to write essays on Festivals in India. India is a country of festivals and since it is a secular country, all festivals are celebrated with equal fervor. True, it does add spice to our otherwise dull lives. Though there are articles about how the festivals are losing their traditional flavor, I feel they are celebrated more vigorously, though the flavor probably might have changed.

What would have happened had there been no festivals? The main industry that would have suffered is the Television Industry. They thrive on festivals, weddings and its various rituals, births, birthdays, marriage anniversaries etc. Holi has brought so much colour to our TV sets. Weeks drag on in preparing for the festival and the actual celebration. While some channels/serials are able to keep pace with the festivals, some celebrate them days after the festival is over, but not a single program, even reality programs, can do without them.

Thankfully, besides major festivals like Holi, Diwali and Uttarayan, there are lots of other festivals like Bhaiya Dooj, Teej, Ganesh Chaturthi, etc. No wonder TV serials remain on air for YEARS and YEARS, and when there are no festivals, large joint families living together in palatial houses, come up with Birthdays and Anniversaries. Long live TV industry, there are lots and lots of festivals to weave your stories around. Rejoice

Match to Win

“To match, or not to match is the question”, my relative, relatively new to the field of bride-hunting (not literally – there is time for that), queried. She is looking for a suitable bride for her good looking, well qualified, well placed NRI son. She was extremely excited when she started off, sorting out suitable matches seemed to put her on a high for a while, but gradually her enthusiasm seemed to be thinning. “What happened?” I asked her once. “The horoscopes of the girls I approve of don’t match with my son at all.” “But why should we match horoscopes?” the son asked, to which she had no answer.
Some happily married (a clichéd oxymoron) couples insist they are happy though their horoscopes are not matched, some say they are happy because they are matched. Some unhappy couples insist they are unhappy because theirs were not matched, while some insist they are unhappy despite their horoscopes having matched. I wonder why they are not referred to as Horrorscopes rather than Horoscopes.
So my relative, relatively new to the field of bride-hunting, started sending horoscopes to more than one person offering horoscope matching services. She received a reply from all of them. One said they did not match at all, another said they had average match points. Third said they matched perfectly, to the optimum point, and fourth said they should not consider any other match as this would be a godly match. It seemed instead of finding a match between the bride’s and the groom’s horoscopes, they were playing a match among themselves.
So now my relative, relatively new to the field of bride-hunting, is confused, but intelligent as she is, she has come up with a unique solution. She will continue to consult all the pundits. If she doesn’t like the girl, she will say the horoscopes didn’t match. And if she likes the girl, they will match. And the best part is, she would not be lying at all.

Namesake

“What’s in a name?” said Shakespeare, “A lot” sayeth I. He did not have to deal with the staff at the passport office, bank, or that hospital where I had to go for various medical tests, or get a driving license, PAN card, and lots of other cards essential to modern living. Things get worse when you are endowed with a surname that is a name in most parts of your country!

When I went to obtain my passport, I was absolutely sure my work would be over in a jiffy as all my documents were in order, but that was not to be. Despite innumerable incidents of female foeticide, rapes, dowry deaths and domestic violence, I am proud to say our countrymen believe in respecting women, why else would I be Rupalata in one document and Rupalben in another? So ultimately, I had to submit an affidavit to prove my identity and only then could I get my passport ready. Either my marital name did not match with the maiden one, or I was not clear in my head which name to use and was hence using 2 according to them. I could never convince them that Chhaya could be a surname.

Same is the case with my mother-in-law’s various cards, share certificates, bank accounts and fixed deposits where she is Devi in all documentation done at Delhi, and Ben in all paperwork carried out in Gujarat. I am at a loss to understand why we need tags where official documentation is concerned.

And now to the plight of a cousin whose name is Shree. And to top that, she had the AUDACITY to marry a person with a difficult name and a more difficult surname. She found herself in annoying situations quite often, but worse could have been the predicament of those who would find a woman walk towards them while they would be expecting a guy!

Some names can save you from certain unpleasant situations though. My aunt is a very religious person who would not allow a non-Hindu to enter her house. Once we were forced to stay overnight at her place, but one Mr. Parvez was accompanying us. We were in a dilemma, but she extended cordial welcome to him as she thought his name was Pareshbhai.

From Chain Letters to SMSes and E-mails

When I was young (not that I am OLD - if life begins at 40, I am only 9 years) I used to receive post cards asking me to not break the chain and write letters to 12 or 20 or 16 people if I wanted so and so god or goddess to smile on me, or else it would spell doom for me if I broke the chain, these letters said. God Fearing Indians would immediately sit down to write such letters to various friends and most of them would continue the chain except some like me who would break this chain.

If hell has descended on me because of this, I know not, and I CARE not! But now things have changed. Do you think I mean to say people have become less superstitious?? NO rey, that is NOT what I mean. What I mean is people no longer write letters, they send sms or emails. "If you forward this email/sms to 21 people, you will get good news by evening, if you don't, great misfortune will befall you". "Oh really?" "which god has sent you as his agent,may I ask?" People have started using technology extensively, they are definitely moving ahead with times, but they are still not able to get out of the beliefs that they have grown up with. We say we are progressing. "How" is one question people are unable to answer. Having malls and multiplexes does not a modern country make, modernity can be achieved only when we break the shackles of age old beliefs.

Don't, please don't send such letters/emails/sms to people and subject them to this dilemma of "to break or not to break the chain". Nothing will happen to you if you break the chain. I am sure no god is peeping from his abode to find out if you have broken the chain so that he can punish or reward you accordingly. if you trust him, you should trust his benevolence and not get carried away by such gimmicks, and if you don't believe in him, there is even otherwise no question of reward or punishment by him.

Home Managers

Some time ago I went to an NGO as I was looking for a domestic help and thought of contacting them before looking for one on my own. I filled out the form and stopped short where they had mentioned them as Home Managers. I raised my eyebrows and the clerk said they preferred to call the maids Home Managers!!

Home Manager? They? Then who are we? I wondered. I thought we managed our houses (or at the most a few interfering husbands did).

I do believe in dignity of labour. I firmly believe that a person earning however petty an amount through whatever kind of honest work is worth a lot more than a person having accumulated riches through dishonest means. I also do not believe in calling them maids...but Home Managers?? That I find ridiculous! They are an integral part of any household and an apt title for them according to me is Domestic Help as they are there to share the burden of household work with the women of the house. They are there to assist but are not allowed to take decisions or do not have any say in matters of the house. Do they still deserve the title of House MANAGERS?

It is good to give manual work, and people doing such work the respect they deserve. Imagine what this place would be without the people who are cleaning the streets. No problem there, but in the process it should also not be forgotten that the title be commensurate with the work profile. What Say?

Identify Yourself, Please!

Yet another phone call, same questions, same answers! "How are you?" "Fine, thank you"

"How is XYZ?" "He is fine too" "And ABC?" By then my head stars spinning...."who is this?" I ask and there is shocked silence at the other end. After a minute or two the connection comes to life again and the bruised voice asks "didn't you recognize me?" The hurt in the voice pains me and I feel guilty for days for not having recognized the caller, but tell me honestly, is it my fault?

Matters get worse when I pick up the phone meant for someone else, of course land line phone where there is no caller ID. I pick up the phone, give adequate replies to all standard courtesy question and hand over the receiver to whoever the caller asks for. As I heave a sigh of relief at having got over an ordeal, the question is paused to me, "Who is it?" I have no other option but to shrug my shoulders to convey that I am at absolute loss to identify the caller.

I have a question to ask to all the callers "why can't you identify yourself when you call?" "Why do you expect others to recognize your voice? When you are not a regular caller, when we do not talk everyday, when I do not get to listen to your voice regularly on radio/television as neither are you a newsreader, nor a leader giving lectures on air, how, tell me how am I going to recognize the sound of your voice?" I entreat you all, I love you all, respect you all but PLEASE make it a habit to identify yourself when you make a call.

I admit I do not have super human powers, I am an average human. I HAVE to be told who you are. I know I am DUMB, but that's the way I am, so please keep this in mind next time you call, and spare me the embarrassment and the feeling of guilt.

Walking That Extra Mile

Yesterday I watched an episode of Star Ya Rockstar on Z TV. Though I did not watch the whole episode, I saw the parts where Sachin and Manasi were singing. The show is about actors, participating in a singing competition. The actors have to find time from their acting schedule to learn the intricacies of singing. They have to step out of their comfort zone no doubt, but the worst part is having Anu Malik as judge. As it is, the participants are doing a great job, but they were asked to sing a song entirely different from the style they were comfortable with……and hats off to the two of them who passed the acid test with flying colours!!! They sang so well inviting applauds from the judges as well as the audience, and they could achieve this feat only because they walked that extra mile..that is what makes them successful, this is what makes them special.

Many of us refuse to walk that extra mile, and that makes us stagnant, we blame our destiny for that. Venturing out of our comfort zone is in itself a difficult task for us, the feeling is akin to that of a child moving out of the house, leaving his family and stepping into a new world when he enters school. And walking THAT extra mile is out of bounds for many, but those who do it, outshine others.

A cook in my house prepares everyday meals for us and if we tell her to make the same vegetable differently, she does it begrudgingly.....and refuses to attempt anything new with "I don't know how to make it". She has enough work to supplement her family income, she balances her home and work perfectly, and she is not willing to add to her burden by trying out more recipes. She neither has the time, nor an inclination to do it. Fair enough. But I know another lady who had to venture out of her home due to necessity, she started cooking for many families, the style of cooking being different everywhere. She adopted the different styles willingly, tried to absorb more and more, learnt various dishes from women in those houses, from magazines and T.V and updated herself continuously. Now she has no time to cook for individual families, she takes orders on a large scale, for parties and other functions, and has prospered. "Lucky" people say. "No" I say....."she walked that extra mile, and that has made all the difference".