I am here to mourn the loss of a great art, that of letter writing. In this age of SMSes and emails, we are forgetting how our eyes used to light up at the sight of familiar handwriting on envelopes, how we used to wait for days to receive a reply to letters written to various relatives. We no longer do that, not even on special occasions...we send birthday, anniversary, new year wishes through sms, emails…...a standard message for everyone, empty words most of the time, or forwards of messages received.
Yes, emails have taken the place of letters, but it is not the same. It does not give the same feel, does not convey the same sentiments......and it becomes individualistic, the whole family more often than not just gets to hear the gist, and fails to connect with the writer.
I still remember how I used to write letters to all my cousins and wait for the reply. Mere sight of the postman was enough to rouse anticipation. In fact, my cousin's neighbor was a postman and whenever he passed her house, she would rush to the door, stop him, and inquire about her post. At last he got so annoyed that one day he stopped to tell my cousin that since he lived in the same lane, he would be passing her house a number of times in a day, not every time to deliver the posts. And since he had no desire to retain her posts, he would hand over the letters as soon as he receives them. These days courier boys are more common to sight than postman.
Last time I went to visit a cousin, he showed me my old letters written to him over a period of time. It was so touching a gesture......I had never expected they held so much meaning for him. And I have preserved all the cards he sent me because they were oh so beautiful......it was much later that I came to know they were hand painted and not printed.... (Flip side of being such a good artist)!! Letters, when read and reread, can recreate the magic, let you travel back in time and has the capacity to revive a person's spirits. They help strengthen the bond between two people disconnected for several reasons.
In this fast age of technological breakthroughs, it seems this art is now lost forever. It is a lot easier to connect though emails, sms and phone calls, though they cannot touch that core of your heart. I see no possibility of revival of this art.....and can do nothing else but mourn its loss.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Diwali Cleaning
With Diwali sneaking from the corner, all housewives have begun cleaning the house, or getting it whitewashed, carrying out repairs/renovations, in short decorating the house to welcome Goddess Lakshmi. Inviting the Goddess into the household and creating proper surroundings to woo her to make it her permanent abode requires a lot of effort. The house should be spic and span, there has to be peace and harmony in the house, good food should be offered to her (who says way to only men's heart is through his stomach??) Lots of poojas are done to entreat her to enter the house and bring good fortune and prosperity in the household.
I have been hearing about all these since I was a child. My mom used to clean the house, make mouth watering dishes, create intricate and beautiful rangoli at the doorstep, and light diyas at night. (to make sure lakshmiji didn't miss the house due to darkness courtesy Gujarat Electricity Board....Baroda - my hometown is infamous for electricity playing truant even at meteorological department's mere forecast of rain, and at ALL other occasions.)
Despite having learned all this since I was a child, I don't believe all these is done for Laksmiji. I think the real purpose of this kind of thorough cleaning of the house in ENTIRELY different. I truly believe that the purpose of cleaning, renovating, refurbishing of the house, in short getting everything upside down is to locate many many things that we misplace during the whole year. We tend to misplace things and then when we try to locate them at most likely places, we are more often than not unable to find them. Diwali cleaning affords us an opportunity to find missing/misplaced things from unlikeliest of places. And this, according to me is the real purpose of Diwali cleaning.
I too have undertaken the herculean task of cleaning the house for Diwali....I started yesterday and in just two days I have rediscovered a lot of things that had gone missing since last year and had looked for them all over.
You may, or may not agree with me now, but after Diwali cleaning is over, and after you find all that had gone missing in the last year, you will definitely ponder over what I have written, and I am sure most of you will agree to agree with me!!
I have been hearing about all these since I was a child. My mom used to clean the house, make mouth watering dishes, create intricate and beautiful rangoli at the doorstep, and light diyas at night. (to make sure lakshmiji didn't miss the house due to darkness courtesy Gujarat Electricity Board....Baroda - my hometown is infamous for electricity playing truant even at meteorological department's mere forecast of rain, and at ALL other occasions.)
Despite having learned all this since I was a child, I don't believe all these is done for Laksmiji. I think the real purpose of this kind of thorough cleaning of the house in ENTIRELY different. I truly believe that the purpose of cleaning, renovating, refurbishing of the house, in short getting everything upside down is to locate many many things that we misplace during the whole year. We tend to misplace things and then when we try to locate them at most likely places, we are more often than not unable to find them. Diwali cleaning affords us an opportunity to find missing/misplaced things from unlikeliest of places. And this, according to me is the real purpose of Diwali cleaning.
I too have undertaken the herculean task of cleaning the house for Diwali....I started yesterday and in just two days I have rediscovered a lot of things that had gone missing since last year and had looked for them all over.
You may, or may not agree with me now, but after Diwali cleaning is over, and after you find all that had gone missing in the last year, you will definitely ponder over what I have written, and I am sure most of you will agree to agree with me!!
Division of Labour
My morning started with sounds of our neighbors arguing. It was surprising because all the members of that family are so quiet that they hardly speak......arguing is WAY out of the question! It was later that I came to know they were arguing over some household work.
Our neighbors are both working. The lady of the house has been working for years. Life for her was not so difficult till now, but now that she is advancing in age, she finds it very difficult to manage her home, work, shopping along with meeting with all social obligations, with absolutely no support from her husband or son. She has to manage everything alone. Today's cleaning job required two people but when her husband expressed his reluctance to help, she flared up.
Most Indian men have broadened their horizons, but only where it is convenient to them. They are not averse to working wives, as long as they look after the house and the children efficiently, takes care of the in-laws and all other odd jobs inside and outside of the house. But when they are asked to help in any of these jobs, they become uncomfortable.
It is not their fault I would say, they have been conditioned to believe that it is demeaning to do such jobs. Though this attitude is changing now, there are still a lot of families where boys are not expected to help out in the house (mine being one of them). When my son went to his friend's house, his mother taught him to make chapatis. She said even the boys should be trained in the house hold work.....and I agree with her completely. When they move to other places for studies or jobs, they should be equipped to fend for themselves.
These days with even the wife working and multi tasking, and growing scarcity of reliable domestic help, it is mandatory that all the members of the household do their bit to help her run the house efficiently without wearing herself out.
Our neighbors are both working. The lady of the house has been working for years. Life for her was not so difficult till now, but now that she is advancing in age, she finds it very difficult to manage her home, work, shopping along with meeting with all social obligations, with absolutely no support from her husband or son. She has to manage everything alone. Today's cleaning job required two people but when her husband expressed his reluctance to help, she flared up.
Most Indian men have broadened their horizons, but only where it is convenient to them. They are not averse to working wives, as long as they look after the house and the children efficiently, takes care of the in-laws and all other odd jobs inside and outside of the house. But when they are asked to help in any of these jobs, they become uncomfortable.
It is not their fault I would say, they have been conditioned to believe that it is demeaning to do such jobs. Though this attitude is changing now, there are still a lot of families where boys are not expected to help out in the house (mine being one of them). When my son went to his friend's house, his mother taught him to make chapatis. She said even the boys should be trained in the house hold work.....and I agree with her completely. When they move to other places for studies or jobs, they should be equipped to fend for themselves.
These days with even the wife working and multi tasking, and growing scarcity of reliable domestic help, it is mandatory that all the members of the household do their bit to help her run the house efficiently without wearing herself out.
Navratri Fasting
Today is the last day of Navratri Fasting, 7th day of fasting to be precise. This time tithis overlapped so there is one less day of fasting, they say one tithi contracted TB......I mean in Gujarati it is known as 'kshay' and only equivalent of Kshay known to me is TB!!
I have been religiously keeping fasts for past so many days....I am sure there must be some change in my weight after so many days of fasting.....I am sure about it....I must have definitely ADDED a couple of kilos to my already heavy load.
While some people fast to appease Gods and Goddesses, I fast to appease my taste buds, so treated myself with all kinds of 'Faral' cookable at home and available outside. Sabudana khichdi, vadas, aalu tokri, paneer tikka, rajgira thepla, kuttu pakoda, singhoda halwa....the list is endless, and I have only today to taste all that I have missed out on!!!
And since I am fasting, people around me have become ultra sympathetic, so whenever anyone from home goes out, returns with juices, soft drinks and sweets, lassi and ice creams, and of course they understand that I must be feeling WEAK after fasting so I am expected to do no work either!
Sigh, sigh. All these will come to an end tomorrow after Naivedya is offered to the Goddess. I will return to being an ordinary member of the house, eating all the routine stuff like daal, bhaat, shaak and rotli! No excuse of weakness or fatigue will be entertained and will have to start cleaning and cooking for the festivals ahead.
Now I have to wait for another year to start feasting (sorry, fasting) again, unless I decide to fast in the month of Shravan - will think about it - because I am not sure whether I will get the same benefits if I decide on a month long fast.
I have been religiously keeping fasts for past so many days....I am sure there must be some change in my weight after so many days of fasting.....I am sure about it....I must have definitely ADDED a couple of kilos to my already heavy load.
While some people fast to appease Gods and Goddesses, I fast to appease my taste buds, so treated myself with all kinds of 'Faral' cookable at home and available outside. Sabudana khichdi, vadas, aalu tokri, paneer tikka, rajgira thepla, kuttu pakoda, singhoda halwa....the list is endless, and I have only today to taste all that I have missed out on!!!
And since I am fasting, people around me have become ultra sympathetic, so whenever anyone from home goes out, returns with juices, soft drinks and sweets, lassi and ice creams, and of course they understand that I must be feeling WEAK after fasting so I am expected to do no work either!
Sigh, sigh. All these will come to an end tomorrow after Naivedya is offered to the Goddess. I will return to being an ordinary member of the house, eating all the routine stuff like daal, bhaat, shaak and rotli! No excuse of weakness or fatigue will be entertained and will have to start cleaning and cooking for the festivals ahead.
Now I have to wait for another year to start feasting (sorry, fasting) again, unless I decide to fast in the month of Shravan - will think about it - because I am not sure whether I will get the same benefits if I decide on a month long fast.
Drive......without driving people MAD
Today being the first day of Navratri Festival, we had gone to buy a 'Garbo'. We just returned by auto. As my husband was paying auto fare, a scooter came stumbling towards him.....without the rider!! A guest who had come home had parked his Activa on the slope in such a way that had the autowala not rushed to stop it, it would have caused a serious accident.
People have started using personal transport extensively, because public transport cannot be relied upon each time, people have learnt to ride, to drive, BUT unfortunately they have not learnt to PARK.
The other day, a guest had come to our place by his car, which he parked outside our home on the public road......in the MIDDLE of the road, blocking the whole road. Many of my son's friends started riding/driving while they were still in school (before they had attained legal age for driving)and whenever they came to meet my son, they would park their vehicle right in front of the gate......blocking the entire entry to the house.
While parents should not allow their children to drive before they reach the legal age and obtain a proper license, it is also important that they teach their children to drive safely, and to teach them to make sure that they cause least inconvenience to other people. That they learn to drive a vehicle, and not drive people mad with their ability, or lack of it, to drive a vehicle!!
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